Interview with Nicole Tristan, "Fetish Glam Kitten Next Door"

"I have always tried to keep it classy and fashion orientated... even though some of it is as sexy as hell!"

-Nicole Tristan

In just a few short years on the international scene, Australian T-Girl Nicci Tristan has become an icon in both the transgender and latex fetish communities. Personally, I've always admired Nicci because she's such a perfectionist when it comes to style and feminization. But I also love what she's done with her website (http://www.rubbernicci.com/). Most pin-up girls post sexy pix. And Nicci is no exception. But Nicci also dedicates a whole section of her site to beauty, fashion and feminization tips for other Trans Girls. (And I've pretty much downloaded every page of that!)

Nicci kindly agreed to an interview with Suddenly Fem and I caught up with her during one of her many webcam shows. We chatted about her early days as a Trans Girl, her first brush with latex, and a new body shaping system that she's working on. As always, she looked classy, stylish, and oh so sexy. She was in a brand new hot pink mini that she called an "e-bay bargain," along with some really killer matching hot pink heels.

Nicole Tristan: Putting the kettle on... back soon!
Nicci scurries off cam for a few moments...

Nicole Tristan: Ok fire away...

CiCi: So let's start at the beginning... what was Nicci like as a little boy?
Nicole Tristan: A normal little boy... did boy things mainly. Always loved to watch Batman... especially so when Catwoman was in the episode!! Used to love watching her!

CiCi: Did you have a fave Catwoman? Julie Newmar? Eartha Kitt?
Nicole Tristan: The one that was in the movie. God in that movie, she is so hot! The movie sux but who cares! lol. (NOTE: It was Lee Meriwether.)

CiCi: And I have to say, of all the Catwoman I've seen, you've got the look down... from the skintight latex to the low-slung belts! Purrrrfect (as Catwoman would say). So which came first for you... the latex or the girlie side?
Nicole Tristan: The girlie side by a long way. I discovered the wonders of latex by accident!

CiCi: Did you start going out right away... or were you a closet girl for a while?
Nicole Tristan: Closet girl for a long time!

CiCi: I've seen early pix of you. You were adorable right from the start. What were your first "out" experiences like?
Nicole Tristan: Well I just met up with other girls. Not really going out but it was fun & we chatted & did piccies, etc.

CiCi: And then how did you "accidentally" slip into latex?
Nicole Tristan: Well I was out shopping one day desperately looking for a tight leather pencil skirt. Unfortunately (or fortunately depending on your view!) I couldn't find one. On my way home I stopped in to check out the big new adult super store... as you do... lol... and found a cheap molded Sharon Sloane pencil skirt. I picked it up (nearly put it down again) and ended up buying it. I had already planned a dressing session that evening so I decided to use my new purchase. And from the moment I slipped it on (well actually huffed & puffed it on lol) and polished it up, it was love at first sight! Kind of snowballed from there. Funny thing was at the time I didn't even really know such a big fetish scene even existed!
Nicole Tristan: 'Scuse my typos...nails! lol
(NOTE: At this point, Nicci holds her hand up to the camera to show off her long sharp, bright red nails. I imagine admirers and nail fetishists all over the world gasping at the sight. No worries, Nic, we cleaned up the typos.)

CiCi: Giggle... Well you're a big part of that fetish scene now! So how long after the skirt did you buy your first catsuit?
Nicole Tristan: Ages actually. Probably 2 years. Sort of stuck to just the one item at first, then eventually bought some stockings. At the time, I didn't know hand-made stuff existed & was still buying the cheap molded stuff. It's really crap & had plenty of tears to begin with. I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of people are turned off of latex by their early adventures in molded items! Once I discovered a hand-made provider, well then the penny dropped!

CiCi: I know how much you love being in latex... but what was the reaction like? Did you immediately sense a difference in the way people responded to you?
Nicole Tristan: It was positive... really I have always tried to keep it classy and fashion orientated... even though some of it is as sexy as hell! I think that helps to sway the non-fetish people around.

CiCi: If that was your goal (classy and fashionable), then you've definitely succeeded... and it's made you famous! Tell me about that. You have your own website, your own Yahoo group, your own Lustomic comic book(!), numerous magazine stories and YouTube videos. Let's face it, you're now known around the world. You obviously wanted to go big (that's why you started your website, after all.) But what does it feel like?
Nicole Tristan: Well I didn't set off to be big or anything. I guess I just pursued things & if they were successful then I took another step & another! I'm proud of the website as I do the whole lot myself & I have really tried to make it more than just pics. I wanted to present myself in a variety of ways and share a lot about me in the process. I wanted Trans Girls to like it just as much as the admirers! As to what does it feel like, cool... though I can't really get my head around it. Everyone says I'm famous, but the online fame is a strange one. You're fairly disconnected from it.

CiCi: But, I think the key here... is that your fans and admirers feel a connection. And yes! I luv your website. You're so generous with your T-Girl tips. You give such great advice on dressing, makeup and style. Do you ever think twice about giving away all your beauty secrets? Isn't that like a magician giving up the secrets behind his tricks?
Nicole Tristan: No, I think it's cool to be able to give a few insights into the way I do things. Even with all those tips, it will still take some dedication on the part of the Trans Girls to put it all together! And if they do then fab! Love to see the result!

CiCi: Well all that dedication has really paid off for you. There you were, all those years ago, a child watching Catwoman and fantasizing a bit. And now, years later, you've accomplished so much. So what's been the biggest thrill for you so far? Have you had one of those, "I can't believe this is actually happening to me" moments?
Nicole Tristan: Yes, when my pictures were published in Marquis magazine! Being their first ever Trans Girl to feature really blew me away! And now writing the column I really enjoy!

CiCi: I remember that. I was so surprised that they had never featured a T-Girl before. Of course, I was not surprised that they made an exception for you. So, if you don't mind a more personal question, how is your boy life these days? All of our readers struggle with the balance between their two lives. So how's your balance these days?
Nicole Tristan: It has its ups & downs of course, though I worked out a while ago that I'm an "in the middle girl" and won't ever become fulltime. I think some of the magic is that I'm 100% CD/TV. Other than shaved legs and some thinned brows, I'm all boy. Though I do watch my weight carefully! I love the "one extreme to the other" change! From T-shirt & jeans with a couple of days growth on my face, to a fetish glam kitten! Way cool...

CiCi: Way cool indeed! Now does anyone from your boy life know about Nicci?
Nicole Tristan: Only a very select few!

CiCi: Thanks so much for this, Nicci. Just a few more questions...
Nicole Tristan: No probs. I'm enjoying it!

CiCi: Cool, then I have 100 more questions!!
Nicole Tristan: lol

CiCi: So what's next for Nicci Tristan? Any big plans for '08?
Nicole Tristan: Well not really, working on some new stuff for the website, perhaps develop the video side a little more. Would love to go to an overseas event... will have to wait and see, I guess! But I'm also working on a body shaping system based on what I do now, so that will be interesting. The key will be that it will be smooth enough to wear under tight clothes... a definite gap in the market!

CiCi: Can you tell me anything more about the body shaping system? Or is that still being developed?
Nicole Tristan: Still being developed, so I can't really say much at this stage, although if it works out it should be fab! I'm trying to reproduce how I do my shaping except in a marketable manner... I'll keep you posted!

CiCi: You do a great job of that... taking what you do personally and then making it "marketable" or "accessible" to the masses.
Nicole Tristan: Thank you!

CiCi: Of course, we'd love it if you'd come back to the States. You mentioned overseas travel. What's your favorite place you've been to as Nicci?
Nicole Tristan: To date, the Montreal Fetish Weekend. That was fun!

CiCi: So one last question for you. Hey T-Girl... what does your "T" stand for?
Nicole Tristan: Mmmm, let me think!
She pauses to think for a moment. Then, on the webcam, I can see a mischievous look in her eyes.
Nicole Tristan: Tricky.

CiCi: lol I love it!
Nicole Tristan: Rhymes as well, so that's a bonus!

CiCi: Giggle... well, Tricky Nicci, thanks so much for taking the time to chat with me today. You have so many fans around the world who not only admire you... but are inspired by your sexy, classy, ultra femme style! Thanks, doll!
Nicole Tristan: Any time! And thanks for the interview! I'm looking forward to seeing the final article!

You can see Nicole Tristan in all her latex glory at www.RubberNicci.com. And look for her column in the rubber fetishist magazine, "Marquis-The Fetish Fantasy Magazine" (www.marquis.de).

Some Q&A

Q. I am married and I saw that you are too. I need some help getting my wife to support me. So your spouse is ok with it? Was it easy/hard? Did she come around eventually or was she kinky already? Sorry for the 20 questions. Any insights you can offer would be helpful. ("Maya")

A. No worries on the 20 questions, Maya. I'm always happy to help if I can. But I have to be honest. I'm not a very good source on this topic. My wife and I have been together a while, so she was there from the start. She's pretty much watched CiCi emerge. So I never really had to "tell" her. She's also very accepting of my other kinks and fetishes, so she's not a normal case. (We're not a very normal couple.)

Unfortunately, there's nothing you can really do to change how someone feels about dressing. For instance, I know a lot of people have foot fetishes. I don't. Boots and heels, yes! But feet? Just not my thing. Any way, no matter how much someone tried to convince me, I don't think I'd ever get into feet.

And it might be the same with your wife. She may never get into your dressing. She may never accept it. In that case, the key question is whether or not she'll allow you to explore. Will she grant you permission to dress? Go out? Date? Play? Have sex? (You may not even want to do all those things, but that's the usual progression.)

So how do you tell your wife? How do you break it to her?

It's a tough position to be in. But just try to remember: she's in a tough position too. Before you get started, here are a couple of key questions to ask yourself...

1. How's your sex life now? How's the intimacy level?
2. How good are you two at being friends?
3. How does she respond to gays/tgs in the media?
4. Has she ever seen you dressed or seen pix of you? What was her reaction?

Hopefully, answering these questions will give you a good idea of how to approach her. Obviously, the closer you are and the more understanding she is, the better your prospects for a meeting of the minds. Try to get a read on how she feels about gender-bending in general. Maybe watch a T-themed movie or TV show. (Have you seen "Dirty Sexy Money"? It features a really nice performance by Candis Cayne as Billy Baldwin's T-Girl love interest.) Probably the more positively she responds to images or portrayals of other girls in the media, the better your chance for success.

But there are no guarantees here. And there's an awful lot at stake. Important, expensive things can lie in the balance… from your marriage, your family, and your relationship with your children, to your home, your career and your investments. They can all be taken away in a divorce. So don't kid yourself about the possible consequences.

That's why I totally understand why a dresser girl would not want to tell her wife. Sometimes there's just too much at risk. But I would never advocate keeping this secret from someone you intend to marry. If you're planning on marrying a current partner, please by all means tell them. There is still a lot at risk involved, but why sentence you and your future spouse to a life full of secrecy and sneaking around? It's just not fair. And you won't be happy.

If you have a significant other and you're keeping this a secret, then you know exactly what I mean. Because you're doing it right now. You're hiding your clothes. You're hiding your make up. You're telling her that you're surfing the internet when you're really chatting with other girls. Maybe you're even sneaking out to meet people or to go to clubs. But you're lying to her. And you're lying to yourself.

You're lying to yourself because you're thinking that somehow this is a temporary thing. That you're just exploring a fetish or chasing a fantasy. You're telling yourself that you're not sure where this will all lead. But take it from me. Dressing only leads to one thing. And that's more dressing.

You may purge some day. (I did.) You may toss all your stuff in the trash and promise yourself that you'll never dress again. But I bet you won't keep that promise. The desire to dress is just too strong. And for most of us, it only gets stronger.

Telling your wife may be the hardest thing you ever do. So don't take it lightly. And be sure you've taken the time to try to really see things from her point of view first. She may be frightened that she'll lose you, she may think that you're no longer the person she married, or she may not understand the whole cd thing at all.

So if you decide to tell her, remember this: Don't just talk to her. Help her. Reassure her. And always make it clear that she is the most important thing in your life.

Take care out there.
Be safe. Be smart. Be sexy!
xoxo,
CiCi

Blurry

Is it just me, or are things getting really blurry out there? I'm not talking about the weather. Or the picture on your new HDTV (if you didn't set it up properly). I'm talking about labels. What we call ourselves. And what others call us.

I seem to be getting a lot of questions on this topic lately. And maybe you've been asking some of these same questions yourself: "Now that I'm dressing - or now that I've admitted that I'm attracted to dressers - what does that say about me? Am I gay? Am I bi?" "If I'm a guy and I'm attracted to other guys (but the other guy is dressed as a girl), does that make me gay?"

One person told me that he's "straight, with a twist." But to me, that sounds more like the proper way to serve tequila.

My gut reaction to these label questions is always the same: "What difference does it make?" But, obviously, it makes a big difference, otherwise so many people wouldn't be asking. Labels matter in our society. Our society has just gotten too darn big for most of us to deal with, so we need short cuts, sound bites… simplified categories to help us make sense of the world. And that's where labels come in.

Interestingly enough, I've never gotten one of these questions from a GG (genetic girl). No GG has ever asked me if liking a guy who's dressed as a girl makes her a lesbian. In complete contrast to their shopping behavior, GG's don't seem to be all that interested in specific labels. But to the guys - and in this category, I'm including guys who dress as guys and guys who dress as girls - labels seem to be incredibly important.

Now a lot of this is just good old-fashioned American homophobia. No matter how evolved some people are, no matter how much they've overcome personally to allow themselves to become a T-Girl (or to date one), many still can't shake old stereotypes and the bad feelings associated with them. I mean, think about it. It's a pretty weird state of affairs when a man will freely admit that he enjoys sucking cock - but can't stomach the thought of being called gay.

Of course, a lot of this is just T-Girls trying to make sense of the changes they're going through. Most of us have been battling confused feelings all of our lives, so is it any wonder that we get kind of obsessed about trying to make sense of it all? (BTW… I hear some T-Girls call themselves lesbians. And that's cool. Except that I have no idea what it means. I'm not sure if it means that they like other girls or that they like other T-Girls. I've heard it used both ways.)

And it's not just here in the gender wars that labels are starting to blur. When asked about his ethnicity, golf champion Tiger Woods refers to himself as "Cablinasian" - based on the fact that he's Caucasian, Black, American-Indian, and Asian. So maybe we T-Girls are all Transbistraybian (transgendered, bi, straight, gay, and lesbian). Or better yet, maybe we're just strays. (That's straight and gay.)

I consider myself "confused." (That's conflicted and kind of amused.)

Fashion designer Isaac Mizrahi had a great line. He once said, "My ethnicity was my choice. It still is." And I like that approach. When it comes to our identity - we get to choose. If you've been following the presidential primaries, you'll notice journalists use the word, "self-identify," a lot. When they refer to a certain demographic, they'll often say, "...according to men and women who self-identify as Hispanic..." Or "...self-identify as Causcasian." It's a great word. Self-identify.

All I know is that if Mr. Mizrahi can choose his own ethnicity, then I can choose my own gender role. And so can you. So if you want to be gay, be gay. If you're more comfortable identifying yourself as straight, go ahead. And if you prefer bi, then bi it is. Call yourself whatever you like. Just be sure to respect the labels others select for themselves.

Oh...and here's one last bit of unsolicited advice. If the lines between gender roles in T-world really are so hopelessly blurred so as to be rendered essentially meaningless, then maybe its time we started asking new questions.

Maybe instead of trying to figure out what you are, your time, energy and introspection would be put to better use in trying to figure out just who you are.

(And you thought that first question was hard.)

Take care out there.
Be safe. Be smart. Be sexy!
xoxo,
CiCi